


Silent Prayer

by Matthew1972



Series: Celestial affairs [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angel Powers (Supernatural), Background Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Coming Out, Consent, Crossdressing, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Hugging, Kissing, Lace Panties, M/M, Morning After, Oral Sex, POV Sam Winchester, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Top Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 23:00:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20750174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matthew1972/pseuds/Matthew1972
Summary: After a series of back to back hunts Sam is on his way home to his until now (not so) secret angelic lover. In his daydream of longing Castiel sits waiting for him. The truth however is by far better, because his lace and flannel wearing angel of seduction is more than eager to answer his silent prayer in deed. But even after they've made love dare Sam believe in how much Castiel loves him… that he is worthy of it? Is he ready to stop hiding what they share?





	Silent Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Beautiful Mess (see Flannel and Lace series), but it can be read as a stand-alone.

* * *

For three weeks he's been parted from Castiel. Too many freaking hours and days if you'd ask Sam. His body feels sore, and not the good kind, reminding him of each by a monster inflicted cut and bruise. Sam though accepts the deep discomfort for what it is. In his aching muscles too lies the knowledge that Dean and he have sent evil spirits down to hell, slain a demigod and cut short a coven of witches from their deadly spells. Not that he's kept a tally, but still, Sam supposes that they did well enough to breathe easier on their long drive home.

Well, if he's honest, it is not even about the physical pain anymore. The full depth of his ache pours right from his stupid heart. Closing his eyes, Sam pretends to be asleep, because he wants to dwell in the privacy of his thoughts. To enjoy the daydream as they drive on further down the road towards the bunker. While his body remains seated in the Impala his mind travels out ahead of them… towards Castiel, his home. What is it that people say about absence? Even in his mind Sam can't help but wince over how far gone he is by now. Love…

More so than anything else Sam misses his wayward angel. From his messy hair to his insane blue eyes and those oh-so-kissable lips to every inch of his strong body. Sam knows how perfect his bare skin feels next to his. Or what he tastes like. Knows how to render Castiel to a writhing mess of pure wanton need, until he begs for his cock in a deep rumble of sound. Love, sure, but Sam can't deny the pure physical attraction he feels either. After all, he's only human and he does have eyes.

For Sam the beauty of Castiel reaches out beyond his handsome vessel. Below the surface he can sense his grace, feel its ever-present, cool energy pulse inside of the confines of flesh and muscles. Castiel knows what he wants and asks it from Sam without shyness. His needs are never careless or one-sided. He's more than aware of why Sam must have some semblance of being on top when they join their bodies. Thrives even on being worshipped by him… that is, once he is too far gone to blush and protest about his imperfections.

Between them nothing gets censored. Pain, regret and loss… held inside but shared in voiceless touches. An intimacy of pure lust and physical release, which pulses bright until their bodies are sated and all they can be is one mess of entwined bodies wrapped up in his bed. Both of them walk broken through life, but on those heated nights they get put back together again by the other, at least for a while.

In his daydream Sam wonders what Castiel is up to. What his message of 'waiting in your bedroom' entails. He can picture a pile of books, the television switched onto Netflix and the trench coat left behind, carefully draped over his chair for later use. Sam is sure by now of how Castiel feels free to make a mess of his bed. To crumple the sheets as he does research. With the gate of heaven closed he's told his angel that the bunker is his home… but all he got as answer was, "I am home where you are."

Even half-asleep Sam smiles at the memory. More than anything he understands the truth in those words, feels how they, Dean included, never quite fit in anywhere else unless they stand together. But still… thinking about the bunker, Sam can't deny the part of his life which resides in between those thick concrete walls and how it's become more than work. Full of memories, both good and bad. The table in the main room he can never look at without a flutter of emotions and lust in his gut, because on it he'd taken Castiel apart for the first time. He can almost hear the echoes of their laughter in the hallways. Knows where they have clutched onto the other in a fierce hug of comfort when everything the world threw at them had become too much for one person to deal with. Kisses shared in both the shadows and the light.

Best room of all though is his private sanctuary, his bedroom, which amazingly has become theirs. Neither one of them owes many things, but in between his jeans lies a denim skirt or two and in his drawer laced lingerie mingles in with his pile of boxer briefs. No one else sees those worn to their tempting fullest. How beautiful Castiel looks in nothing but skin and elegant, black lace. What it feels like to touch him through the soft fabric and tease him into a writhing mess of pure want. Only Sam has the honour… and even from afar it drives him insane with lust…

No one but Sam knows that for all his innocent front deep down Castiel is a damned tease. Far too often Sam wants to peel away Castiel's suit jacket, blouse and trousers. Ditch the trench to hide it forever. Unwrapping Castiel though is only half the fun, because his angel keeps adding to his collection of panties and see through under shirts to keep Sam on his toes. He's never sure what lies beneath, other than temptation. Though it had been an accidental discovery on the day Sam had walked in on Castiel the sight of him dressed in a skirt and laced thigh high socks had unleashed a shared kink. Where Castiel enjoys the freedom of expressing himself Sam is only too happy to show him how beautiful he is, and how much he arouses him.

Miles of open roads between them, though less of a distance now, but Sam can't deny that his hands aren't aching to touch. Can admit to himself that his treacherous cock betrays where his thoughts have gone off to. His faded jeans feel too tight. He's hard alone from picturing his angel lounging on their shared bed. Wants to undress him slowly to see what kind of mood he's in. Likes to think that Castiel misses him too, even when Sam feels unworthy of such thoughts. Honestly, he's not sure what his angel sees in him… why he's so willing to let Sam have his wicked way with his body. But for all his doubts his longing is never stronger. Yeah, he has fallen, and there's no middle ground. He's too far gone for that.

* * *

Impatient as hell Sam strides through the hallways of the bunker, his duffel left forgotten in the war room. He can't wait to see Castiel. Doesn't need his stuff where he is going to. Sam barely even hears Dean mock him for his fast retreat, and how he forgets to conceal his urgent manners the way he usually does. No, he's beyond it. Fails to see how Dean shakes his head in acceptance of where he is going and leaves to sleep off the hunt, with a bottle of whiskey tucked in under his arm.

Maybe Sam pushes the door of his bedroom open with too much power, maybe not, but in the second he hurries inside he too crashes to a full stop. The sight which meets him takes his breath away. Castiel is right where he said he would be… on their bed… waiting. He's lying stretched out and propped up against the pillows, like Sam so often finds him, except that today he is suit-less.

His eyes draw to how one of his flannel shirts hangs over an otherwise bare chest and off more narrow shoulders than his. Slightly too oversized for Castiel it wraps around his arms to fall over his wrists in a blue plaid of red lined squares. Sam knows how soft the fabric is, which is why he'd bought it. Now it slips over perfect hips to fall open to reveal what little Castiel is wearing underneath…

Sam wets his lips, unable to tear his eyes away from those long legs of thin lace covered skin, and how the hems of long socks curve around thick thighs of pure muscle and strength. Clasps and suspenders keep them up… leading to a garter belt of more lace, which attempts and fails to keep some of his modesty in place. To his joy Sam can see through the pattern of fabric and small openings, and he takes note of the absence of any more layers. How beyond those few inches of lace Castiel lies bare, with his cock twitching under his uncensored, heated gaze of pent up longing.

"Hello, Sam."

His mind stutters over the low rumbled sound of his name. How can it be that he seems to have affected Castiel already? "You…"

"I heard your prayer." Castiel clarifies, as if it's more than obvious.

"You… what?"

Smooth and shameless like a feline Castiel slips from their bed to close the distance between them. His lips brush a fleeting kiss over his stubble covered cheek. Castiel is almost on his toes until Sam leans towards him for a kiss, which gets cut short with a twinkle of amusement and a thumb teasing over his lips instead. "Your longing", Castiel says. "I don't always need words to hear it, Sam. Not when your thoughts are so vivid."

"Like a silent prayer?" Sam catches his thumb to move it out of the way so that he can take what he wants. Claiming those lush lips as his, he kisses Castiel and sneaks his tongue into his hot mouth to taste him. Happy to swallow the soft moans of want Sam keeps on kissing until his lungs are burning for oxygen. Coming up for air, he smiles with fondness over how flustered Castiel looks and how adorable too while dressed in his open flannel shirt.

"Yes." His belated answer comes out breathless… but where there was lust Castiel now frowns at him in concern. Faster than Sam can blink he reaches out to rest two fingers against his forehead. "You are hurt. May I?"

A protest lies on his lips, but Sam swallows his doubts on if he has a right to when he sees into the angel standing before him. Patience, concern… love, unlike him Castiel does not hide what he feels here, now. He only wants to help, is almost desperate to and yet he respects Sam enough to let it be his choice.

"You may." The answer isn't so difficult for Sam after all. Less so when the rush of grace fills him up with pinpricks of pain, energy… then the sweet relief of his body healed. "Thank you", he sighs, happy to feel comfortable in his own skin again.

Castiel opens his closed eyes, the unnatural blue inside of them dying as quick as it had come to life, to beam at him. He retreats his fingers with a soft smile. "I have missed you too", he says.

Under the gaze of intent emotions Sam feels lost. Trust, love… and so much more is pouring into his soul. He isn't sure whether he deserves it or not. How come an angel wants to be with him? But for how much it flusters him Sam can't not believe it true, because Castiel keeps a hold of his eyes without any shyness for how it's what he's feeling. "You did?" His doubt is out before he can stop it.

Rather than convince him with words Castiel shakes his head. He wraps his elegant fingers around Sam's wrist to guide his hand down south and under his garter belt, right over his swollen cock. "Feel me. I am hard for you", Castiel tells him. "Sam, I want you to touch me. Your hands on my vessel, inside of me too."

Unable to hide his greed and lust Sam brushes his thumb over every inch of hard flesh, feeling Castiel twitch and swell up firmer under his touch. He finds his slit wet. Effortless he brushes the drop of pre-come away to force out another with a twinge of delight which runs up his own spine. Oh, how he loves to tease Castiel… and so he leans further down to half whisper promises against his ear. "Just my hands? I can take you apart in so many more ways, you know."

"Whatever you want." Stunned Sam feels how Castiel pries himself away from him. In a delightful picture of flannel, lace and skin he retreats to the bed with a seductive sway to his hips. He looks back over his shoulder, shyly and yet far from it. "I am yours."

* * *

Sam doesn't waste time to undress himself. He's too damned horny and more than desperate to leave the hunt behind in a mess on the floor. On his next breath he crawls onto the bed on all fours to kneel above Castiel like a predator does its prey. "Hear my prayer, Cas. See what I am going to do to you. Fuck… you look so adorable in my shirt. What were you thinking when you put it on?"

"It feels soft, and it smells good, like you do." Castiel shrugs, the gesture oddly innocent and almost fragile to Sam. "Each time when I wear it, it makes me feel closer to you."

A thought forms in his mind. "So, today is not the first time?"

"Perhaps not." The shy spell shatters under a grin. "Well… what are you going to do about it?"

Straddling perfect thighs, Sam pretends to think. He closes his eyes though and paints a picture in his mind to send some of his longing to Castiel. Not sure if his angel can 'hear' him Sam imagines bending down over his body. He wants to kiss that damned fine cock, lick his tongue over its tip for a sweet taste and suck it in between his lips. Can't wait to feel Castiel pulse inside of his mouth. To have him moan and writhe, curling his fingers in his hair to keep his face tucked in between his legs. Sam envisions how lace will tickle his nose while he breathes in the smell of his deep musk of arousal. Oh, how he longs to hear and taste his lover coming apart in his throat…

"Fuck." Castiel rarely curses, but he does so now. "Do it… Sam, please, stop teasing me."

Sam snaps out of his mind and back to reality because of the fingers which claw onto his left thigh for attention. Blunt nails press into his skin, persistent and yet not painful. Awe fills his heart over how he's affecting Castiel with conjuring up images in his mind alone. "It works? How?"

"Because you hold my heart."

"I do?"

Nodding, Castiel squeezes his fingers and lets go. "Now hold my body?"

"Pushy." Sam can't help but grin. It stuns him how much he's wanted, that an angel needs his touch with such plain longing. Unable to find the words for how it takes his breath away Sam backs up a little to lean down and slowly brush aside some of the thin lace of the garter belt to reveal every inch of Castiel before his eyes. "Beautiful", he praises. The up-close sight of him alone though isn't enough for Sam.

"Am not."

Ignoring the protest, Sam follows his line of earlier thought by taking the round, wet cock head into his mouth. Licking over the tiny opening there he steals away the drop of pre-come. Its salty taste is enough to urge Sam onwards. He takes in a breath and slips his lips further down to take more of Castiel into his mouth… and further, until he can hold no more inside. He hollows his cheeks to suck, then retreats slowly only to go down on his angel, ripping a cry of pure sinful desire from him. At last, Sam thinks, as he revels in how he can feel the cock in his mouth pulse with growing arousal.

Coming up for air he brushes the open flannel shirt further aside to lick his path up, over abdomen and towards a perky nipple. He kisses the stray freckle there and blows gently over it. A hand curls its long fingers into his messy hair. Sam can feel Castiel shudder under his touch, arch into his presence, and knows that his grip is meant to keep him close… to urge him on. In answer to it he brushes a palm southward to brush over every spit-slick inch of Castiel's cock. Trailing a slow path up its vein with a finger, Sam presses a kiss onto by soft moans parted lips. "Like it or not, you are beautiful to me."

Eyes full of emotions but also purpose meet his. "So you keep saying." No longer patient anymore Castiel rolls onto his front on spread knees and with his ass up in the air. With the same ease he arches his back downwards to lower his chest and head onto one of the pillows. "If you want me to believe it too, show me?"

Sam can only stare at Castiel, lost to the sight before him as his angel offers himself up, shameless in his want. His arousal sparks brighter at how his own stupid shirt of blue and red flannel slips away from round buttocks, framed still by the garter belt of lace, to leave nothing to the imagination. Unable to resist his desires for any longer Sam reaches out for a feel of those fine ass cheeks. Belatedly he licks his lips to find his voice. "Sure."

Turning to action, Sam crawls in close behind Castiel to massage the warm, soft swells of flesh. Every odd caress though he extends his reach over to the suspenders of the garter and the strong, masculine thighs they're hugging. Under his hands Castiel writhes and whimpers in soft pants. Driven on by how horny his angel is for him Sam at last takes mercy on an upwards brush of his hands, by teasing his thumbs into the cleft of his ass…

… Sam stares in pleased shock at how he can press his right thumb in straight past an unexpected lube-slick, loosened up rim without any resistance. Even more of a turn on is it when Castiel rocks back his ass to meet him in kind. Turned on by his blatant eager Sam trades his thumb in for two fingers to finger fuck him open even further… deeper.

To think Castiel in his impatience had stuffed his ass full of his own fingers, all the while wearing his shirt… surrounded by his smell and sheets. Was this the once so distant Angel of the Lord? The one who'd had to warm up to him while Sam was nothing but a bumbling young man awed by his presence alone? Oh, how far they'd both come to find a mutual cause and respect, love even. "Cas?" Sam voices his awed confusion in a breathless question contained within his name.

"Like I said, I _have_ missed you. Take me apart with your cock? Please…"

The husky plea and confirmation of what he needs to hear settles his arousal firm in his core. Sam stares at the shiver of pure want, which he can see travel over the exposed, arched back stretched out before him. For all Castiel is his vessel is gorgeous when flushed with arousal. It's impossible to not want to take it. "Yeah… I've got you." Sam wastes no more time on thoughts, can't when his entire being aches to be inside of Castiel and join their essence together.

* * *

Slow but firm Sam slides his cock inside of Castiel. Though open and slick, somehow his angel grips him tight too. A couple of fingers are a far cry from his size, or so Castiel has both marvelled and complained about before. Now though he arches up into the friction Sam sends into him. More than ever Castiel whimpers at the fullness he must feel. Tiny mewls of pleasure… breathless begs of his name, half broken off into moans too.

Sam stares in awe at where he fits right into that perfect ass. Now in deep to his balls he has to pause to stave off his orgasm. Fuck, but he's so close already. Catching his breath to steady himself, Sam wraps his hands around narrow hips to keep Castiel where he is. "You feel so good…"

"So do you." Castiel curls his long fingers curl into the sheets as if to anchor himself in his self-inflicted position of submission. Impatience and lust mingle together within the obscene low rumble of his name, which is moaned out in his need to get off. "Sam…"

Unwilling to move just yet Sam lets go with one hand to smooth his fingers in a tender touch over one of the suspenders of the garter belt and its small clasp. He presses it into flesh to remind them both of its presence before stretching out his reverent touch to caress a by a laced sock covered calf. "My pretty angel."

"Move…" Castiel's plea almost gets swallowed up by the pillow he's resting his head on. Sam though hears it anyway. Senses how desperate he is to get off. Knows how Castiel needs him to fuck him hard to remind them both of how on the other side of the hunt Sam is still alive.

Maybe on any other day Sam likes to tease him for a while longer, but today is no such time. Ready to move he retreats to sink himself back inside of Castiel. Again… now deeper, on a slightly different angle to seek out his target and milk it with a steady rhythm of thrusts. More open and wet for him now Castiel welcomes each intimate move as if he needs it to stay alive, his hips eager to snap back against Sam.

Grabbing a hold of said hips, Sam guides him to lock them together at his say so. His cock pulses deep into that delightfully gripping heat each time when Sam bottoms out deep inside of it. Driven on by each moan and pant he can't help but want to undo Castiel. Not too fast though. No, he wants to enjoy wrecking him apart and keeping him on edge for a while. Needs to feel how close he is and slowly drag the release from him in one drawn out wave of unbridled pleasure.

Deeper… harder… faster, and slow again. Underneath him Castiel writhes and moans. His body clenches around his cock on each thrust. Sam can feel his ass muscles ripple around his cock, pulsing to return the favour of divine sensations. Feels how with each push and pull over soft walls and nerve endings he tortures Castiel with almost painful caresses of pleasure. Sam thrives on how over each direct hit against his abused prostate his angel cries out for him.

"Don't…" Sam warns off a moving hand, denies Castiel the much-needed friction on his aching, but now neglected cock. "How about you let go for me like this?"

Rather than a denial Castiel hisses out his raw joy. "Yes…" He's come to know better than to deny Sam and himself what they seek in these heated moments where nothing else matters but being together in the pure carnal joining of their bodies.

Again, Sam pushes hard into Castiel. So close… his pleasure too sparks so high that he can hardly see straight. Want, need, lust. Ever faster he rocks them both towards the edge. Their moans mingle together, voices raw with pleasure, his own included. Sam has no illusion anymore. Here he can no longer avoid the inevitable. He doesn't even want to attempt it. Driving in deep Sam seeks out his love's release. Needs for Castiel to let go so that he…

"Sam… I'm gonna…"

Castiel can barely get out his breathless warning. Even as he speaks, he tenses up to spill his release onto the sheets and his stomach, while his strong ass muscles lock Sam up tight deep inside of him.

Yes! This exquisite, mind-blowing sensation of completion is what Sam has chased, even during the miles before reaching home… in his daydream. It is a physical and emotional feeling of love so perfect that it too sends him over the edge in a powerful orgasm. Wave after wave of maddening pleasure crashes over Sam while he spills his semen deep inside of the now gone lax body underneath him. "Cas!"

Unable to stay up on his knees Sam collapses in a sated mess of a human being, only just aware enough to not smother Castiel underneath his large body. Instead he hauls him in for a hug. With his angel in his arms he spoons up behind him. Still breathless Sam kisses the nape of his neck, muttering nonsense words of praise into skin, while he rides out the last sensations of the sweet high of release.

* * *

Early in the morning Sam wakes, feeling peaceful, drowsy still but in a pleasant way. Though he doesn't remember pulling a sheet over himself the lower half of his naked body is tucked in warm. Home… there it is again, that for him so new sense of belonging. As impossible as it feels to Sam, he can't help but marvel at how safe he's feeling. He's never had this, not since his first love. Can barely believe it is his. Sam has to open his eyes, pinch himself and stare at Castiel to let it sink in as true.

A sense of adoration clutches around his heart. To see Castiel lying belly down and sprawled out on the duvet of his bed, with his face burrowed in the pillow and his entire vessel so still, takes his breath away. From the mess of dark, short hair over the curve of his by flannel covered spine and down the fringes of lace and the long, elegant thigh highs he looks as edible as he did last night. Part of Sam stirs in arousal, but he feels too lazy to act on it. Maybe later he can have his wicked way with his angel?

Bemused blue eyes flash open and up at him. Castiel lazily stretches up his arms, almost cat-like in elegance. He retreats his limbs to roll onto his side and face Sam. "You know… it is rude to stare."

"Says he who enjoys watching me sleep on every other night." Sam holds out his arms, asking Castiel in silence for a hug.

Not in the least bit offended Castiel curls up into his waiting arms. Burrowing his head against his chest he closes his eyes, as if about to fall asleep. Like before he stills, and Sam can't help but join him in their private bubble of lazy contentment. No, Castiel doesn't sleep, and yet he isn't a morning being. For all the traits they share this isn't one. In contrast to him Sam itches to breathe in the crisp dawn air… to go for a run and find more energy in exercising. Castiel seems to sense it too, judging from his sigh and the way he curls his fingers into Sam's thigh in a near possessive grip. "Angels too enjoy their daydreams, Sam." Lips move against his chest to mumble Castiel's explanation for his continued mood of silent reverie.

"Tell me about yours?"

Spiked up hairs tickle over his chest when Castiel shakes his head, then looks up, a little shy and yet he too is smiling wryly. "Being a soldier of heaven, I've never allowed myself to have this before. Humanity is so fleeting. Mortal. I can't help it though. You, this, us…"

"I am not going anywhere." Sam brushes his hand in under soft flannel to rub smooth circles of comfort into Castiel's lower back. All too well does he catch onto what his angel means to say. How one inevitable day Castiel will have to go on without him, without Dean too. That he is bound to walk the earth alone… but in a future which Sam likes to push out ahead of them, for himself, but more so for the angel he loves. "I assure you; I am happy to be in the moment with you. To have you all to myself." He moves in closer to press his sheet covered, half hard cock against a by lace covered hip.

As if to mock him for being sappy an embarrassing loud growl cuts his thoughts short, announcing how his nose and stomach have come to the decision that Dean cooking breakfast in the bunker kitchen deserves his attention. Sam grumbles in his mind, but he smiles when Castiel grins against his chest. Blue eyes glare then roll at him in pretend offence. With his added sigh Castiel sends a trickle of breath over Sam's nipple, deliberate in his teasing of the nerve endings there. Upon his answering shiver of want Castiel retreats with a shrug. "Breakfast in bed it is."

Moving but a fraction too late in his reaction, Sam reaches out for Castiel. Instead his hands meet with nothing but the empty space by his side. More upset than he cares to admit to Sam pouts over his absence. "Don't leave? I am only hungry for you."

Doing up his buttons, Castiel wraps up his chest into his borrowed flannel shirt, rolling up its sleeves to his elbows. Not fazed by his remark he rolls his eyes at Sam and huffs at his cheesy complaint. "All humans must eat." Determined in his reasoning Castiel unclasps his garter belt to put on a pair of simple, yet elegant, black thongs. Just as smooth he refastens the clasps, steps into a denim skirt and zips it closed in place on his hips. Without pause he leans over to Sam to press a kiss onto his temple in a far too fleeting caress of tenderness, his hand though lingers on his stubble covered cheek for a while longer. "Humour me?"

"Are you going to get me breakfast like this? In my shirt? Dean will know what we've been up to and mock you for it." Bewildered and no less turned on than he was before Sam looks up at Castiel with nothing but fondness in his eyes. So far Castiel has only shared his joy for wearing lace and skirts with Sam. Like it's their secret. Maybe because of how Castiel knows that it turns him on, which as he told his angel is unwanted in front of others like his brother? Or maybe out of fear? Sam hasn't asked. Now he thinks that maybe he should have… because what if his doubts were hurting Castiel? It is the last thing he wants to do.

"I could always take it off." The deadpan remark falters before Sam catches onto the fact that he means for it to be a joke. Castiel shakes his head and grins at his confusion. Sobering up, he looks at Sam with narrowed eyes full of innocent wonder and the for him so typical angelic curiosity of trying to understand humanity. "Sam, I am not ashamed of us or what I am wearing, are you?"

"Never. You are right. I need to stop hiding." On a rush of emotions Sam pushes aside the sheets to get out of bed. For Castiel he will be strong, and for himself too. He should have seen, should have realised… but now that he does he wants to go through with it. In record time he puts on a clean set of clothes. Closing the distance with Castiel he reaches out to entwine his fingers with the Angel's to hold his hand in support and love.

"I wasn't sure if you were ready… if I am even worthy of you…" Sam falters under eyes gone dangerously intense, veering towards protest. "I am such a fool, I know, but I am with you today", he adds on a rush. "Cas, what if we both talk to him… and you know, we share a plate of pancakes? Set him straight if need be. You can set me straight too if I am being stupid."

Fondness surges up inside of Sam at the renewed twinkle of happiness he can see dance to life in always impossibly blue eyes. "Sure, I can eat", Castiel grins and kisses his cheek softly. Aware of how he usually doesn't eat, because Angels have no need for food, Sam smiles back at him in understanding of how eager Castiel is to learn more about human interactions. On some days though, like today, he wonders if the angel isn't in fact better at it than him… or maybe they are as bad as the other?

Having found the courage to stop hiding behind his doubts at last, Sam leads Castiel out into the hallway. It has taken him a few months, but today he is determined to face his big brother. While they walk on side by side he holds onto the hand in his for support. Knows that it is why Castiel too doesn't let go.

Yeah, it is about time he learns how to be proud of whom he loves. Time too to admit out loud that he has fallen at all and he is trying so damned hard to accept that maybe he is worthy of it. Sure, Dean will tease and joke around, because it's what he does. So what? The closer to the kitchen he gets the more Sam dares to put his trust in that beyond his gruff temper Dean will above all else be happy for his little brother, foolish as he may be.


End file.
